What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
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What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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