He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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