She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
