Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
