i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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