the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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