hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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