Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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