Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
