I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I would ride that face into the sunset
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize