So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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