i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
