He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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