i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
