Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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