haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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