we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
