I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
