so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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