So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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