we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
