dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize