I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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