I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
