haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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