Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
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he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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