Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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