You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
