Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
