Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
