Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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