Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Cooked or uncooked?

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  (415): Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep. (503): Cooked or uncooked? http://tfl.nu/xhai
  Replies (12) Good night (4166) Bad night (784)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..

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  (704): he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time.. http://tfl.nu/irbs
  Replies (6) Good night (1542) Bad night (4449)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.

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  (502): Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936. http://tfl.nu/hg2d
  Replies (22) Good night (1432) Bad night (9689)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"

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  (262): My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?" http://tfl.nu/j8cb
  Replies (7) Good night (4609) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.

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  (315): I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism. http://tfl.nu/5nmw
  Replies (8) Good night (3723) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.

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  (507): So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning. http://tfl.nu/28fz
  Replies (4) Good night (951) Bad night (2493)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.

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  (703): they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them. http://tfl.nu/6kqz
  Replies (2) Good night (3341) Bad night (975)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.

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  (609): I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception. http://tfl.nu/z6mj
  Replies (13) Good night (1984) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?

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  (706): I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get? http://tfl.nu/m9m9
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"

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  (303): Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!" http://tfl.nu/4c9h
  Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.

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  (601): I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago. http://tfl.nu/p44l
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.

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  (540): Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography. http://tfl.nu/qwkw
  Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?

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  (781): In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex? http://tfl.nu/6zay
  Replies (9) Good night (609) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups

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  (216): facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups http://tfl.nu/n2ou
  Replies (0) Good night (351) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.

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  (606): Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location. http://tfl.nu/qwv8
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (248)

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