I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.