Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Your mouth is God's brothel.

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  (609): Your mouth is God's brothel. http://tfl.nu/epk5
  Replies (0) Good night (1075) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom

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  (847): she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/dcxm
  Replies (26) Good night (677) Bad night (4378) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'

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  (650): last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.' http://tfl.nu/3iza
  Replies (16) Good night (5363) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

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  (801): I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion. http://tfl.nu/ntse
  Replies (28) Good night (10846) Bad night (1200) Order T-Shirt
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.

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  (980): when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space. http://tfl.nu/ayzt
  Replies (14) Good night (5887) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.

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  (256): Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program. http://tfl.nu/l90z
  Replies (12) Good night (3319) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.

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  (304): they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise. http://tfl.nu/xovb
  Replies (7) Good night (1280) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.

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  (608): Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage. http://tfl.nu/zk4v
  Replies (9) Good night (954) Bad night (2437) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.

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  (515): Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position. http://tfl.nu/fpbx
  Replies (3) Good night (1400) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.

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  (913): I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/25xf
  Replies (3) Good night (1717) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.

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  (585): Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent. http://tfl.nu/ihl8
  Replies (3) Good night (1505) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is

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  (610): I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is http://tfl.nu/18uv
  Replies (8) Good night (1540) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye

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  (763): Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye http://tfl.nu/6gyi
  Replies (10) Good night (647) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...

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  (321): Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face... http://tfl.nu/4hpu
  Replies (3) Good night (293) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.

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  (585): Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful. http://tfl.nu/vw40
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt

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