This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well you can't waste a boner
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
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Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
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Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.