And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
