I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.