Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed

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  (989): i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed http://tfl.nu/j2ib
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (1150)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.

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  (305): He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so. http://tfl.nu/ttes
  Replies (36) Good night (573) Bad night (3726)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.

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  (203): I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails. http://tfl.nu/h0ov
  Replies (37) Good night (1416) Bad night (4879)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.

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  (203): The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately. http://tfl.nu/h16j
  Replies (11) Good night (5750) Bad night (993)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...

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  (830): i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone... http://tfl.nu/i2ws
  Replies (13) Good night (2574) Bad night (890)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?

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  (815): How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back? http://tfl.nu/7gwj
  Replies (5) Good night (1452) Bad night (769)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Threesome in a minivan. New low

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  (907): Threesome in a minivan. New low http://tfl.nu/igpy
  Replies (15) Good night (1829) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke

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  (608): you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke http://tfl.nu/n0vk
  Replies (3) Good night (995) Bad night (476)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him

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  (514): please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him http://tfl.nu/t57p
  Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (644)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.

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  (901): A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird. http://tfl.nu/mrcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1334) Bad night (498)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"

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  (303): So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode" http://tfl.nu/uekw
  Replies (3) Good night (881) Bad night (460)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.

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  (519): Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice. http://tfl.nu/3hl9
  Replies (11) Good night (676) Bad night (253)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band

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  (503): I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band http://tfl.nu/jb22
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you

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  (239): Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you http://tfl.nu/2pml
  Replies (3) Good night (902) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.

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  (707): Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old. http://tfl.nu/gi35
  Replies (5) Good night (261) Bad night (641)

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