My liver just broke up with me...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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