I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
