i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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