what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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