Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
