Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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