Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
