If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize