They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
How external is "for external use only"?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You had me at "let me see your balls"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
