Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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