My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I party with great urgency now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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