tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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