I puked a lego.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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