I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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