I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
