This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
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Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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