You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
