I have demons in me.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
