She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
