She said her name was "party"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
